Relationships, no matter what kind, need compromise. It is easier to lose a fight than to lose that person in your life. Try to make the best out of the situations that you are given and just like Gottman and DeClaire said, take things bid by bid and think of other ways to say things before getting ahead of yourself. If you compromise then you reach a neutral ground that you guys can both agree on, that way you both win and you both lose. If you think about fights that have happened in your life you tend to find that what you are fighting about, doesn't make any sense and you realize that the situations could have been handled much better.
Compromise is a perfect way to resolve arguments and I believe many couples don't follow the idea that they need to sacrifice some happiness to stay together. In the long run, it will help both of them out.
All relationships have problems, in my opinion there is not such thing as a perfect relationship. Every relationship will go through a rough patch as Gottman and DeClaire have told us about when people get a new job they feel as if they have no time. Gottman and DeClaire talk about communication and how to bid with your partner. Communication is a huge factor in relationships. When you can communicate with what is going on then you can compromise to the problem you guys are having, or even just deciding what restaurant to go to. Without communication you are bound to have many fights and those fights can lead to losing the person. Its up to the people in the relationship to take the time and make their relationship work if they really want it. It's as simple as communicating.
Gottman and DeClaire, John, Joan. "The Relationship Cure." Real Questions: Reading and Writing Genres. Boston: Bedford/ St. Martins, 2013. 146-162. Print
I agree with that relationships take time. Fights aren't going to be solved over night but with communicating and working together they can slowly yet surely be fixed. I also agree that communication is a huge factor to relationships and can help eliminate fighting.
I agree that with you when you said that a good relationship is about proper communication and also that no relationship is perfect. Communication is key to a good relationship because without it you won't know what your partner is going through, what they are thinking or how they are feeling. Without knowing any of that or trying to talk to your partner you'll end up in a huge fight and that fight will burn the bridge between the two people.
Relationships always have their good days and their bad days." Biding" can help with those bad days. Having open communication and expressing your emotions can help your relationship grow.Not only do you have to share your emotions you have to be able to listen to your significant others emotions too.Gottman and DeClaire state that husbands that don't pay attention to their wife's" bids"82 % of the time are going near divorce.Being able to express yourself and listen to your significant other can lead you to a happy and successful relationship.
Gottman, John and DeClaire, Joan. "The Relationship Cure"." Real Questions: Reading and Writing Genres" Boston/St.Maritn's. 2013.Pg146-157.Print.
I agree. I feel like a relationship can only flourish if you have an open stream line of communication. I think some people fail in the aspect of "bidding" because they don't realize that a bid is more than an honest statement. Bidding can be a touch or a look that solidifies your feelings. Often times that physical aspect is what is lost when people are dating through an online source, and that may be a huge part of why those types of relationships don't work out a lot of the time.
I agree that in a relationship we all need to have a good communication. By not having good communication we will be getting into a discussion while later can lead to an argument. With my tennis example, when players do not say the score out loud then we will be confused. Which when we get confused we get into a discussion with the score. By not both agreeing to the score then the players will get into an argument because one of the players did not speak up the score loud and clear. Today there are many people getting a divorce because they do not have a strong relationship. It is very important to have a strong relationship and being able to communicate with each other.
Emily, good reference to G and D. Maddi you add nicely to the discussion with your specifics about bidding. Julia, try to connect your comments directly to the reading.
In order to stay in a stable relationship I think the best thing to do is to just love eachothers company and enjoy the time you have with them. If you ever think negative or have doubts in your mind to trust them or not, then it would be hard because then all you would be doing is push the other person away. If you stay positive and actually enjoy each others company then it will lead to good things and hopefully no problems in the long run. Fighting does not make anything better because that is another reason why you could be pushing the other person away. Instead of fighting you could actually just sit down with the person and try to work it out by not blaming one another. If you honestly think that its the other persons fault then I would just forgive and forget it before it leads to something even worse.
I very much agree with you! In order to get into a fight with someone that is close, is because we care about the other person, if we do not care, then the ones are in a fight would not just focus on it so much. Communication and attitude is the key of a healthy relationship, when everyone takes a step back, there is nothing that can't be fixed when love is involved.
I think the most important part of a relationship is communication. Without communication between both parties a relationship will soon run into obvious complications. For example, if there is a barrier of communication between a couple, issues can be swept aside to avoid argument for the time being. At some point the issues having been pushed away will build. A small issue to begin with, having not been worked out, will turn into a much larger complication when it resurfaces. The fight will be more explosive and volatile because there is a lack of communication. In the Relationship Cure, Gottman and DeClaire state that relationships are built bid by bid and one step at a time. They go on to say that relationships don't just appear over night fully created, they take work and mindful steps to build upon. I think communication is an extremely important foundation to build those "steps" upon. Gottman and DeClaire, John, Joan. "The Relationship Cure." Real Questions: Reading and Writing Genres. Boston: Bedford/ St. Martins, 2013. 146-162. Print
I agree with Alexa as is takes baby steps to improve any kind of relationships. Good relations doesn't happen by magic, but with practice we improve them. People should be patient during rough patches in their relationships. Try to recognize moment sent by your partner and stop magnifying at other mistakes.
What happens when one person gives up? Their relationship enters a weird limbo stage and they do something worst than fight. They pretend the problem doesn't exist and it come out as toxic passive aggressive comments. How does sweeping the issues work then?
Human pride makes us very stubborn and no one wants to admit to be wrong, but when we step back, cool off, and take a look at the bigger picture, would it be worth it to win a fight and lose a close one? Taking back a step while one is in a fight with a love one. Gottman and Declaire makes states argument normally caused by feeling separated from one another, and many misunderstandings, but these can be all avoided if we simply just took the time and try to communicate. I have a very stubborn personality, though now I have realized fighting does not solve the issue. It takes two to tango, communications is very important, especially when we care about the other person.
Citation: John Gottman and Joan Declaire/ "From The Relationship Cure"/ Real Question/2013, print, page146
The best relationship advice that I can give is to keep your relationship private. No one knows your relationship like you and your significant other. So sharing your problems with someone else instead of each other may not always be a good idea. I understand wanting to confide in or wanting to get advice from someone you trust but they might not understand fully what you're going through. Sharing the same problem with someone over and over again will never fix your problem. You have to fix it with only each other. You should trust one another enough to be open and honest. I agree with Gottman and DeClaire that relationships bid by bid are built one step at a time. A relationship develops over time. Gottman and DeClaire, "The Relationship Cure."/Real Questions/2013pg.#149
Relationships, no matter what kind, need compromise. It is easier to lose a fight than to lose that person in your life. Try to make the best out of the situations that you are given and just like Gottman and DeClaire said, take things bid by bid and think of other ways to say things before getting ahead of yourself. If you compromise then you reach a neutral ground that you guys can both agree on, that way you both win and you both lose. If you think about fights that have happened in your life you tend to find that what you are fighting about, doesn't make any sense and you realize that the situations could have been handled much better.
ReplyDeleteCompromise is a perfect way to resolve arguments and I believe many couples don't follow the idea that they need to sacrifice some happiness to stay together. In the long run, it will help both of them out.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteGood reference to Gottman and Declaire Ryan.
DeleteAll relationships have problems, in my opinion there is not such thing as a perfect relationship. Every relationship will go through a rough patch as Gottman and DeClaire have told us about when people get a new job they feel as if they have no time. Gottman and DeClaire talk about communication and how to bid with your partner. Communication is a huge factor in relationships. When you can communicate with what is going on then you can compromise to the problem you guys are having, or even just deciding what restaurant to go to. Without communication you are bound to have many fights and those fights can lead to losing the person. Its up to the people in the relationship to take the time and make their relationship work if they really want it. It's as simple as communicating.
ReplyDeleteGottman and DeClaire, John, Joan. "The Relationship Cure." Real Questions: Reading and Writing Genres. Boston: Bedford/ St. Martins, 2013. 146-162. Print
I agree with that relationships take time. Fights aren't going to be solved over night but with communicating and working together they can slowly yet surely be fixed. I also agree that communication is a huge factor to relationships and can help eliminate fighting.
DeleteI agree that with you when you said that a good relationship is about proper communication and also that no relationship is perfect. Communication is key to a good relationship because without it you won't know what your partner is going through, what they are thinking or how they are feeling. Without knowing any of that or trying to talk to your partner you'll end up in a huge fight and that fight will burn the bridge between the two people.
DeleteGood reference to Gottman and Declaire Klarissa. Lots of agreement but make sure to add substantial content to that.
DeleteRelationships always have their good days and their bad days." Biding" can help with those bad days. Having open communication and expressing your emotions can help your relationship grow.Not only do you have to share your emotions you have to be able to listen to your significant others emotions too.Gottman and DeClaire state that husbands that don't pay attention to their wife's" bids"82 % of the time are going near divorce.Being able to express yourself and listen to your significant other can lead you to a happy and successful relationship.
ReplyDeleteGottman, John and DeClaire, Joan. "The Relationship Cure"." Real Questions: Reading and Writing Genres" Boston/St.Maritn's. 2013.Pg146-157.Print.
I agree. I feel like a relationship can only flourish if you have an open stream line of communication. I think some people fail in the aspect of "bidding" because they don't realize that a bid is more than an honest statement. Bidding can be a touch or a look that solidifies your feelings. Often times that physical aspect is what is lost when people are dating through an online source, and that may be a huge part of why those types of relationships don't work out a lot of the time.
DeleteI agree that in a relationship we all need to have a good communication. By not having good communication we will be getting into a discussion while later can lead to an argument. With my tennis example, when players do not say the score out loud then we will be confused. Which when we get confused we get into a discussion with the score. By not both agreeing to the score then the players will get into an argument because one of the players did not speak up the score loud and clear. Today there are many people getting a divorce because they do not have a strong relationship. It is very important to have a strong relationship and being able to communicate with each other.
DeleteEmily, good reference to G and D. Maddi you add nicely to the discussion with your specifics about bidding. Julia, try to connect your comments directly to the reading.
DeleteIn order to stay in a stable relationship I think the best thing to do is to just love eachothers company and enjoy the time you have with them. If you ever think negative or have doubts in your mind to trust them or not, then it would be hard because then all you would be doing is push the other person away. If you stay positive and actually enjoy each others company then it will lead to good things and hopefully no problems in the long run. Fighting does not make anything better because that is another reason why you could be pushing the other person away. Instead of fighting you could actually just sit down with the person and try to work it out by not blaming one another. If you honestly think that its the other persons fault then I would just forgive and forget it before it leads to something even worse.
ReplyDeleteI very much agree with you! In order to get into a fight with someone that is close, is because we care about the other person, if we do not care, then the ones are in a fight would not just focus on it so much. Communication and attitude is the key of a healthy relationship, when everyone takes a step back, there is nothing that can't be fixed when love is involved.
DeleteAnnette, need to reference the reading as the prompt asks. Tina, like to hear more about how this relates to bids?
DeleteI think the most important part of a relationship is communication. Without communication between both parties a relationship will soon run into obvious complications. For example, if there is a barrier of communication between a couple, issues can be swept aside to avoid argument for the time being. At some point the issues having been pushed away will build. A small issue to begin with, having not been worked out, will turn into a much larger complication when it resurfaces. The fight will be more explosive and volatile because there is a lack of communication. In the Relationship Cure, Gottman and DeClaire state that relationships are built bid by bid and one step at a time. They go on to say that relationships don't just appear over night fully created, they take work and mindful steps to build upon. I think communication is an extremely important foundation to build those "steps" upon.
ReplyDeleteGottman and DeClaire, John, Joan. "The Relationship Cure." Real Questions: Reading and Writing Genres. Boston: Bedford/ St. Martins, 2013. 146-162. Print
I agree with Alexa as is takes baby steps to improve any kind of relationships. Good relations doesn't happen by magic, but with practice we improve them. People should be patient during rough patches in their relationships. Try to recognize moment sent by your partner and stop magnifying at other mistakes.
DeleteWhat happens when one person gives up? Their relationship enters a weird limbo stage and they do something worst than fight. They pretend the problem doesn't exist and it come out as toxic passive aggressive comments. How does sweeping the issues work then?
DeleteGood reference and discussion to G and D Alexa. Interesting question Natassja, can you add more to relate it to The Relationship Cure?
DeleteHuman pride makes us very stubborn and no one wants to admit to be wrong, but when we step back, cool off, and take a look at the bigger picture, would it be worth it to win a fight and lose a close one? Taking back a step while one is in a fight with a love one. Gottman and Declaire makes states argument normally caused by feeling separated from one another, and many misunderstandings, but these can be all avoided if we simply just took the time and try to communicate. I have a very stubborn personality, though now I have realized fighting does not solve the issue. It takes two to tango, communications is very important, especially when we care about the other person.
ReplyDeleteCitation:
John Gottman and Joan Declaire/ "From The Relationship Cure"/ Real Question/2013, print, page146
Paragraph is a bit unclear and not sure what you are referencing to G and D. Try not to repeat what you've said in earlier posts.
DeleteThe best relationship advice that I can give is to keep your relationship private. No one knows your relationship like you and your significant other. So sharing your problems with someone else instead of each other may not always be a good idea. I understand wanting to confide in or wanting to get advice from someone you trust but they might not understand fully what you're going through. Sharing the same problem with someone over and over again will never fix your problem. You have to fix it with only each other. You should trust one another enough to be open and honest. I agree with Gottman and DeClaire that relationships bid by bid are built one step at a time. A relationship develops over time. Gottman and DeClaire, "The Relationship Cure."/Real Questions/2013pg.#149
ReplyDeleteReally not much here about G and D. . .
Delete